Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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