Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
