Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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