She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
