We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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