Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
