Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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