It's just like the Real World with babies
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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