After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
