I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
