Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
