I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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