my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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