apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize