He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
