This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
