My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
