yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize