i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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