she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I believe in your delicious
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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