Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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