Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
