I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
