I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
