i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
