She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
