you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
