i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
