So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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