the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
