is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
