I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize