nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
