i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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