Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
