No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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