you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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