She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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