Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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