Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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