so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dick very happy bro
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
