Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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