when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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