sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
