Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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