Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
