its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
