You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
