I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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