we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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