Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize