I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
