I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
