in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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