The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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