He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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