Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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