I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
