It's Friday. Sex?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
