i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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