I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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