my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
