Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
