Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
