two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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