Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
